Legacy: Who Am I Now and What Do I Want?
Apr 05, 2024
Hey, friends! We'll be talking about figuring out your legacy - discovering who you truly are and what you really want out of life.
Peeling Back the Layers
On this journey called life, you have no doubt peeled away layers of baggage from the past. With all that heaviness stripped away, it feels like the quest of self-discovery is easier to navigate doesn't it? Through the process, we're asking ourselves questions like:
- “Who am I really?”
- “Can I just be my true self and make the life I want happen?”
I know some of you have been moving through life with clarity, making progress toward your goals, while others are haunted by societal expectations or cultural norms still calling the shots. Fear not! This undercurrent of past issues subtly steering your life’s direction can be redirected to you putting your self-respect front and center as you move through life.
Now that we're aware we're not just passengers in our own lives, let's talk about what you truly want. Big kudos to all of you for your commitment to self discovery and transformation! I know it can feel uncomfortable to examine our lives so closely, but it takes real courage.
In this blog, you'll learn:
- How to discover your true self and desires by releasing past baggage
- Techniques for overcoming resistance from fears and inner critics
- The importance of living your legacy by pursuing passions
- How to focus on one goal at a time to build momentum
- Why failure is part of the journey to success
- How I followed my dream career despite self-doubt
I'm genuinely excited for you all. Here's the amazing part - once this shift in awareness happens, you'll feel it. You'll give yourself permission to live the life you want, even if there's noise and chatter around you. Let's face it. There's always some kind of noise! But the key is, we'll promise ourselves to navigate through it, right?
Now, it's important to remember - leaving a legacy isn't necessarily about building orphanages or writing piles of books (unless those goals truly light you up!)
At its core, your legacy is about how you've left your mark on the world and positively impacted others.
Think about it - when your time comes, what do you want people to say about you in your eulogy? That's your legacy right there. Pretty cool to think about, isn't it? Who we think we are, versus how we’ve impacted others.
I totally understand we're diving deep into confidence and self-assuredness here. It's about becoming the type of person who unapologetically does their own thing and lives life on their own terms, while causing no harm of course.
And you know what's even more awesome? When you have people around you cheering you on, giving you props and respect for boldly pursuing your passions.
Your courage becomes contagious - it's like passing on an inspiring gift. No positive community? Listening to podcasts and audiobooks can keep your eye on the self-respect prize.
Picture this: you take a moment to acknowledge someone in your life - your teammate, friend, or partner - and say, "Hey, I see you. I'm here bearing witness to your precious life." Simple yet so meaningful, right?
Living Your Legacy
Your legacy doesn't have to be some grand gesture. It could be:
- Supporting causes you care about
- Sharing your skills and mentoring others - whether it's your child, colleague, or a total stranger needing guidance
When you courageously chase your dreams, it sparks something in others. People are drawn to that vibrant energy of living your purpose. You're out on the front lines, leading by example and showing others they can boldly live their passions too.
Overcoming Fear
And here's the secret sauce - realizing your legacy doesn't mean you have to be completely fearless as you move through the world. Nope, fear is still very much part of the deal for all of us.
The key difference is that you learn to:
- notice those fears
- acknowledge them as your protectors
- but don’t divert off course.
Fear is allowed! In fact, all our emotions are welcome on this journey. Think of your emotions as different friends meeting you on your travels. They all have a right to be who they are, and you may prefer one emotion or friend over another, but they are nothing but experiences. As we move forward, you may be wondering "How the heck do I even figure out what I truly want in life?"
Avoiding Paralysis
A common trap many of us fall into is over-researching and overplanning - paralysis by analysis! We end up studying every angle but never take action. Yup, good old “procrasta-learning!”
Personally, my favorite procrastination process is learning many things before making a big move. We all have our own processes, and that's okay! The key is being aware of when we get stuck just preparing and never jumping in.
During this journey called life and leaning into your legacy called You, be gentle with yourself. There is no urgency and you are never late. Think of refining your life like listening to a song. The point is to enjoy the melody and not rush to the end of the song. No shame or self-attack! We're all doing the best we can with the tools we have right now.
Embracing Failure
Fear of failure can also loom like a dark cloud, bringing up thoughts like "What if I try and mess up?" This can keep us stuck in unfulfilling jobs, relationships, etc.
If a boss or partner doesn't see your worth, ask yourself: "How am I not recognizing all my own skills, talents, and wisdom?"
As Ariana Huffington's mom told her: "Failure is not the opposite of success; it's part of success." We'll all make mistakes along the way. Remember those cringe-y moments from life? We've all been there! No one handed us an instruction manual.
Mark Twain said it perfectly: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it." Fear won't fully disappear. It's about feeling it and moving forward anyway.
Remember, the idea of failure is only a concept. If we try something and it doesn't work, we just had an experience. When we correct and continue without monitoring our image, how we are seen, this is as uneventful as trying a restaurant that wasn’t our favorite. Just an experience.
My Winding Journey
Clients often share their belief and shame that they’re behind in life. Though everyone has a different story, being on the opposite side of the “couch” reveals that the deficiency narrative is a common theme. Let me share a personal story about overcoming self-doubt and resistance to pursue my dreams.
Back in my 20s, I was working as a hairdresser in San Francisco, making decent money for a young person. But one day, it hit me - I wanted to become a psychotherapist!
The problem was, I had zero college experience at age 28. And my inner critic went wild, whispering "Who do you think you are? You're not smart enough for that."
So there I was, a total psychology nerd secretly reading textbooks in my room. When I finally told my hair clients about my dream, they didn't exactly give ringing endorsements.
- You'll never pull that off.
- Who's gonna pay for it?
- Just quit now, honey.
Rude! But somehow I knew this was my path. I was determined, living in a magical fantasy without any concrete plan. I just believed I could make it happen somehow. Spoiler alert, I did.
Even though I was super disorganized, I respected that inner voice pushing me to take the leap. And despite feeling totally out of my depth, I found a way to pay for those classes.
Long story short - I pushed through all the discomfort and completed my Psychology degree, even though I truly believed I wasn’t smart enough. By the time I got to grad school, and I was surrounded by students who used expensive words, I often wondered "Do I even belong here?"
But I kept going, and eventually became a licensed psychotherapist! I've learned to lean into uncertainty and power through self-doubt. I had no idea how I would do it, but I trusted I would figure it out. When you listen to that inner voice, you just might surprise yourself.
The Learning Never Stops
Let yourself learn. Take the time to get out of your comfort zone. I know the first time I did a video class in 2016, I truly and respectfully sucked. Yup. But I got better. The moral is that every stage of life brings new challenges and growing pains. You'll often find yourself wondering "What's happening here?" But consider this - many of you have achieved truly amazing things already. This next goal is just your next adventure!
Charting Your Course
As you listen to your heart's desire of what you truly want, think of this journey as an adventure at an amusement park. Let yourself simply have an experience and trust what wants to unfold next for you. And go easy on yourself - harsh self-criticism won't serve you in clarifying your dreams. You are the guardian of your own heart and mind. And your ancestors stand with you too!
Acknowledge any fears, but don't let them run the show. If you find yourself arguing for the box that you’re in and the, "why it won't work for me" mindset creeps in, remember, this is your one trip at the amusement park, and placing boulders in your backpack will no doubt make your journey feeling heavy and burdened. You have a right to be you while cheering yourself on.
Tips for mindfully living your legacy:
- Give yourself permission to live the life you want
- Identify the most crucial first step when your intuition guides you
- Go all in on one goal until it becomes a habit
- Progress requires getting comfortable as a beginner
- Approach goals from self-leadership and grace
- Envision your cheer squad rallying around you
Would you like to explore the idea of legacy and what you want now? This blog is from my deep-dive healing series called Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™.
There you'll find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong foundation, heal from your past, and move through life with ease.
You can access this in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle.
The Invoke and Release® healing modality is a powerful tool that:
- Helps lower stress levels so you can achieve what you want in life
- Improves your sleep so you get more done in less time
- Removes energy blocks to restore your inner peace and allows for more flow
Joining the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle:
- Enables you to attract happier and healthier people into your life
- Amplifies your ability to manifest anything and to create the life you desire
- Makes you feel more comfortable to take bold action, leave toxic relationships, and feel true to yourself
If you feel called to explore your legacy, I encourage exploring the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. With an open mind and heart, you can access profound inner resources to anchor and illuminate your journey.
Important Links:
Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™
Invoke and Release® Healing Circle
Helpful blogs:
Want to catch up on the full “Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™” blog series? Catch up below:
Why is Healing Trauma Important
Your Body as Your Healing Ally
Seeing through the Seduction of Negative Thinking
Codependence: Your Obstacle to Your Personal Success!
From Codependency to Clarity: Adulting Made Easy
Ancestral, Family, Gender and Cultural Agreements as an Obstacle to your Dreams
Why Should You Bother Meeting and Greeting Your Inner Parts?
Meeting and Greeting Your Parts
The Ultimate Guide to Identifying and Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs
Is Your Family Legacy Weighing You Down? How to Let Go and Heal
Book Recommendations:
