Mastering the Right Questions for Success

Have you ever noticed the aching thought to do that marathon, write that book, start your own business, or travel the world, but something stops you? But what is it? If you’re at a point in your life where you really want to find out your personal obstacle, (because let’s face it, everyone has a slightly different one), I’m here to help.

Let’s start with the easy button for your scanning convenience. In the Invoke and Release® Healing circle, the first section that introduces you to possible obstacles to your success are summarized in these blogs.

The series is called, "Five Signs Your Past is Hijacking Your Success". Go ahead and download the free worksheet to help gain some insights about yourself. 

The first in the series is exploring your commitment to safety. The blog is called, Why is Healing Trauma Important? After all, if you go after your dreams, you may lose your community, romantic partner, and find yourself in unfamiliar territory. 

The second in this series is called, “Your Body as Your Healing Ally.” What better partner to have than your own personal body giving you guidance. 

Third, there is “Seeing Through the Seduction of Negative Thinking.” In the online healing class, we explore ideas of recognizing unsupportive thinking. Here are some quick questions to ask yourself when you’re not following through for yourself:

• "How am I lying to myself today?"
• "What is my personal thought dogma?"
• "What is my thought error at the moment?"
• "What's creating my thought prison?"
• "Am I married to this belief right now?"
• "Am I gaslighting myself right now?"

Fourth, there’s the blog, "Codependence, Your Personal Obstacle to Success.” or you may like, “From Codependency to Clarity, Adulting Made Easy.” I would like to personally raise my hand here! In the past I noticed it was way easier helping others than keeping my word to myself and following through.  I’m much better now. Take a look to see if you gain insight about yourself. 

The fifth blog in this series is called, “Ancestral, Family, Gender and Cultural Agreements as an Obstacle to Your Dreams.” Remember, culture and family are beautiful things, but if the unspoken agreements are getting in the way, you may want to review this area of life. 

In addition to having an intellectual understanding of your obstacles, The Invoke and Release® Healing Circle can guide you through your healing process. Just follow the healing path designed for you. Also, gain additional support from our weekly Reflection newsletter.

In this blog, you'll learn:

• 🧠 How to ask yourself empowering questions to shift your mindset
• 🔄 A 7-step process for overcoming difficult thoughts and emotions
• 👶 The story of how the Invoke and Release® method helped a new mom navigate postpartum exhaustion
• 😤 Strategies for making space to fully feel and surrender to frustration before reframing
• 💡 The power of rephrasing statements as exploratory "why" questions to unlock your brain's wisdom

Asking the Right Questions

Did you notice that the thoughts that spontaneously pop up in our mind are usually asking a question? 

• “What did my boss mean by that?”
• “Why haven’t they texted back yet?”
• “Will I finish my project in time?”

When we’re lost in contemplation, it can be tough to break the “worry trance” and ask ourselves helpful questions. Remember, this isn’t about positivity biasing your way out of real concerns or even spiritual bypassing. This is about respecting the moment while exploring helpful questions.

One exercise is offering yourself a statement to support you in the moment. Often your nervous system needs some type of reassurance. It’s okay to respect this human phenomena and nourish yourself.

Here’s some examples: 

• Didn’t receive that text back? Try on, “I’m safe no matter what.” 
• Feeling exhausted, but need to pick up the kids? Try "I love getting my second wind when I see the kids."
• Got a work project you feel incompetent about? Try saying,  "It's easy for me to figure things out."
• Feeling ill and bracing with worry? Try "I love that I have a healthy immune system."

You’ve probably noticed that affirmations like above don't always do the trick. On the other side of “I am enough,” is always, “I’m not enough.” Getting lost in this binary world of one or the other can be exhausting. Try Afformations.

Author, Noah St, John has a wonderful book, “The Great Little Book of Afformations,” which helps you ask better questions. 

Here’s what it would look like:

• Didn’t receive that text back? Try on, “Why am I safe no matter what?” 
• Feeling exhausted, but need to pick up the kids? Try "Why do I always rally before I get the kids?” 
• Got a work project you feel incompetent about? Try saying,  "Why do I always figure things out?"
• Feeling ill and bracing with worry? Try "Why do I have an amazing immune system?” 

Notice the quality of these questions and how you feel reading them:

Goals:

"Why can't I follow through on my goals?"

• This can make someone feel defeated and labeled as "a person who doesn't follow through"

"How could I make it easier to follow through on my goals?"

• Better, but still coming from a deficiency
• Could lead to "I don't know, past attempts failed"

"Why is it so easy for me to complete things?"

• Allows positive answers like "Because I'm excited," "I'm my priority," or, "It’s easy to set boundaries"

Self-Respect:

"Why do I have so much self-respect?"

• "Because I have great boundaries."
• "I trust my intuition."

Health: 

"Why do I have such a great immune system?" 

"Why are my cells healing me right away?"

• "Because I truly nourish my body."
• "I'm healthier than most people I know."

Community/Friendships: 

"Why do my friends love me so much?"

• "Because I’m kind and thoughtful."
• "I raise the vibe just by being there."

Notice how rephrasing as an empowering "why" question allows your brain to provide positive reasons, rather than focusing on lack or limitation. Give it a try!

7-Step Process for Overcoming Difficult Thoughts

If you’re having difficulty dropping into this line of questioning, do some of your own detective work, and take a look at the 7 tips below: 

1. First, check if you're dehydrated. When dehydrated, we can crave sugar or coffee as a way to exit from ourselves. But having some water can help prepare your mind for the work ahead.
2. Next, ask yourself, "Am I hungry?" When we're hungry, our blood sugar and cortisol levels get thrown off, impairing our executive functioning. We can't problem-solve well in that fight-or-flight state, even if it's just a work deadline rather than a physical threat.
3. Bring in the facts by asking, "What is my upset really about?" Don't jump to conclusions yet - just state exactly what happened, like, "My boss yelled at me." No one likes to be spoken down to. Is there a boundary to be set?
4. Then you can explore, "What did this experience mean for me?" For example, you might have made it mean, "I'm incompetent."
5. Ask, "Does this feeling remind me of something from my past?" Maybe it stirs up memories of being criticized as a child and never feeling good enough.
6. Pause and do a quick Invoke and Release® clearing on that familiar sensation. This calms your spike in cortisol by simply resetting your nervous system. (The Invoke and Release® Healing Circle can be helpful here.)
7. Now you can move to afformations that empower you: 
   • "Why am I such a great employee?" 
   • "Why is it easy for me to recognize disrespect?”
   • "Why is it easy to communicate my needs?”

It’s empowering to explore our thoughts while staying in our adult state. Respecting our emotions while trusting ourselves will assist us in staying present, empowered and avoid any temptation to numb out. 

Overcoming Exhaustion as a New Mom: Ava’s Story

Let me tell you a story about someone we'll call Ava. Ava was in a season of her life where she had a 3-month-old baby who just wouldn't sleep. As any parent knows, when you don't get enough sleep, you're just not yourself. Every human struggles in that state of exhaustion.

Ava was experiencing something like acute stress disorder. Whenever she heard her baby cry, she would panic inside, thinking "Oh no, it's going to be another long night." She would brace herself, and the baby could feel her tension, causing more crying. 

When others tried to help her soothe the baby, Ava felt inadequate, spiraling into thoughts like, "I'm a horrible mom," and, "Why did I have a baby?" It's understandable given the massive physical ordeal of creating a new life.

As Ava's therapist, we created a plan together. First, I guided her through the Invoke and Release® Healing Modality to help reset her nervous system, and help her feel more grounded. 

Second, we created a cheat sheet to put next to the crib of helpful questions to help Ava calm down when her baby was upset. 

• "Why am I such a great mom?"
• “Why do I feel so lucky to be in this moment?”
• “Why is my baby perfect the way she is?” 

She was excited to share that implementing this simple process quickly shifted things, and she was shocked her baby fell asleep in record time. Letting go of bracing against the moment was reassuring for both Ava and her baby.

This process helped Ava reframe her mindset, find compassion for herself, and cherish the beauty amid the intense demands of caring for a newborn. With nourishing questions, she could be more present for those precious early moments.

Takeaway

1. It's so important to respect whatever state you're in. Don't judge yourself for feeling a certain way.
2. Give yourself permission to fully feel and surrender to the frustration. Trying to push it away or tell yourself "I shouldn't be frustrated" only makes it linger longer. Once you allow yourself to sink into those feelings with self-compassion - "It's okay that I'm feeling this way. It's okay that I'm exhausted" - only then can you start shifting your thoughts.

We all want to be heard, seen and respected, so it’s important we listen, see and respect ourselves as well.  

Discovering the right questions to lead you to your personal success can be an amazing tool to end self-sabatage and procrastination. 

Would you like to be taken through the process of Mastering the Right Questions for Success? 

The information above is from a class inside the Mastery section of the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. There you will find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong and resilient foundation to heal from your past and move through life with ease.

You can find this healing class in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle.

You will learn about the healing method Invoke and Release® which is a powerful tool helping you release emotional trauma so you can feel free to live the life you want.

The Invoke and Release® Healing Modality helps you:

• Ask yourself empowering questions to shift your mindset
• Overcome difficult thoughts and emotions 
• Navigate challenging life seasons, like postpartum, with compassion
• Surrender fully to frustrations before reframing perspectives
• Rephrase statements as exploratory "why" questions to tap into wisdom

Joining the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle empowers you to:

• Transform limiting beliefs that hold you back
• Develop self-respect and healthy boundaries
• Improve productivity by learning to follow through on goals
• Nurture meaningful friendships and community
• Cultivate a loving relationship with yourself and others

If you feel called to Master the Right Questions for Success, I encourage exploring the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. With an open mind and heart, you can access profound inner resources to anchor and illuminate your journey.

Important Links:

Invoke and Release® website

What is Invoke and Release®?

Invoke and Release® Healing Circle

Five Signs Your Past is Hijacking Your Success blueprint

Invoke and Release® blogs

Invoke and Release® Reflection newsletter

Helpful Blogs: 

Why is Healing Trauma Important? 

Your Body as Your Healing Ally.

Seeing Through the Seduction of Negative Thinking.

Codependence, Your Personal Obstacle to Success.

From Codependency to Clarity, Adulting Made Easy.

Ancestral, Family, Gender and Cultural Agreements as an Obstacle to Your Dreams.

Recommended Book: 

Author, Noah St, John “The Great Little Book of Afformations,”