5 Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Money

Have you ever bought things because of the excitement of the moment and then regretted it later because you don’t really need them anyway?

I know I have. Can we say San Francisco Dickens fair being seduced by a super expensive headpiece that went with my circa 1850 outfit?  Yeah, I donated that. 

"Too many people spend money they earned to buy things 

they don’t want to impress people they don’t like." 

- Will Rogers 

There are so many reasons why we spend money on things we don’t need. 

• Trying to maintain an intangible image of yourself? 
• Being on the neurodiverse spectrum and having difficulty with impulse control?  
• Attempting to heal unprocessed self-esteem issues? 

Being a therapist for over 20 years, I’ve learned that money is complicated, and our relationship with it is deeply intertwined with our relationship with ourselves. 

Let’s take a look at how we can improve our relationship with money, shall we? 

Read this blog and you’ll learn:

1. To Invest Your Time to Heal Your Finances
2. Tips to Improve Your Money Relationship
3. How a Client Improved Both Her Relationship with a Partner and with Money
4. Key Takeaways On Money and Relationships
5. How The Invoke and Release® Healing Modality Can Help You Improve Your Relationship with Money

Invest Time to Heal Your Finances

Just like our physical and mental well-being, our relationship with our finances requires care and attention. Healing our relationship with money deserves more of our time. 

After all, this honor called life comes with so many roller coasters, having your money in place can take one stressor off you. Helping yourself, your loved ones, and contributing to the world in a grounded and open place can feel a whole lot better. 

Let’s chat about a few points to think about when we evaluate our relationship with money. In my blog about money personality types, I discussed money and its influence on our family and culture. Notice how we treat it. 

• Do we relate to it from scarcity and anxiety? 
• Do we feel drained or restricted? 
• Are we able to give and receive freely and joyfully? 

I've noticed people who have gained enormous wealth have a fundamental belief that they are worthy of money- regardless of their background, history, or trauma. They carry an inner sense of deserving abundance. It's not an entitlement but an understanding that of course, there is enough for them. Grant it, sometimes the hidden intention is to feel safe, but regardless, they believe they have a right to receive it. 

Tips to Improve Your Relationship with Money

1. Understand and uncover your true commitments.  

I heard some people say:

• “I want money but if I get money, then that means I have to pay for my family stuff.”
• “Someone is going to be jealous of me and not want to be my friend anymore.” 
• “They'll judge me.”

Fear that money will make demands of us often signals issues with boundaries. If we believe "having wealth means losing control," we likely struggle to receive from life freely.

People's judgments are outside our control. We need not obsess about others envying or resenting our money. We only control our relationship with it - neither pandering for love nor recoiling in guilt.

2. Treat yourself as a worthy partner. 

Relate to yourself, money included, with the same care and respect you would show a loved one. Relax and trust that everything's fine. You're not in danger. Nobody’s trying to take something from you. 

It's the same thing about being worthy of money. It's money. It's an energy exchange. It's fun. It doesn't have power over you. 

 3. Take back your power in the relationship. 

Imagine being with someone that you're obsessed with. You're dating someone that you have made your higher being. 

You say, “I can't do that because my boyfriend might call me and I might miss the call,” or, “I can't do that because I have to make money or I can't do this.”

Don't put money on a pedestal or act fearful as if it controls you. You get to shape your financial life through conscious choices aligned with your truth.

 4. Clarify your dreams. 

What do you actually want if you dare to dream? When we get clear about our dreams, we gain motivation and incentive to manifest our goals.  Gamifying your money vs. connecting your wealth to your self-worth can make your journey to abundance clearer and funner! 

Get honest with yourself, then take action accordingly. 

 5. Be present and honest with yourself, as you would with a trusted partner.  

Get clear on your relationship with money. 

• Do you actually not want to earn more or make an effort around finances? 
• Do you find yourself hoarding or grasping at control? 

Shining a light on our underlying beliefs and behaviors allows us to become clear and align with our truth. Suffocating boundaries in relationships stem from places of fear and scarcity. But when we cultivate self-intimacy and release what no longer serves, we have the possibility to relate to money from abundance and ease.

Unlocking Financial Empowerment: Jennifer's Journey

I'm going to share a story about a client I saw a while back. Let's call her “Jennifer.” Back when I had an office in San Francisco, Jennifer handed her payment to me in an envelope with my name on it containing cash for her session. 

Surprisingly, it wasn't her handwriting, so I inquired, "Who wrote this?" She replied, "Oh, this is from my mom." Jennifer, being a 42 year old adult, led me to ask, "Why is your mom paying for your therapy?" She explained, "My mom is the one with the money. She controls the finances, and she just gives me money as needed."

I delved deeper, asking how she managed her bills. Jennifer revealed, "I simply ask my mom, and she provides what she can afford." It became apparent that she didn't realize she could be financially independent. 

We drew parallels to her romantic relationship, as she was involved in a polyamorous dynamic at the time. In relationships, there are primary, secondary, or tertiary roles, much like in her financial situation. She always waited for her partner's availability, akin to waiting for money from her mom, without asserting her desires.

We explored the concept further, likening it to her financial dependency. Did she desire more financial autonomy? Did she want to be more assertive in her romantic relationships? Through our sessions, Jennifer began to understand that she could shape her financial situation and her relationships according to her desires. She realized she didn't have to wait for scraps of time or money; she could create her own abundance.

As we worked on her self-esteem, Jennifer learned that she was worthy of directing her life, including her finances and relationships. She embraced the idea of having a direct relationship with money, manifesting her desires, and asserting herself in her romantic endeavors. Ultimately, she empowered herself to be in control of her life, both financially and romantically.

Key Takeaway

It's kind of interesting how we sometimes slip into a scarcity mindset without even noticing it, right? Whether that is in romance, money, the job market, or community.  

But the thing is, if we don't take a moment to really think about what we want, we can easily fall into this cycle of just taking whatever life throws at us, without realizing our own power to change things. Sort of like a zombie or living in a life trance. 

That's where self-worth comes in. When we embrace and recognize our own value, we can shift from feeling like we're lacking to knowing that we can shape our financial reality. 

Would you like to be taken through the Improving Your Relationship with Money process? 

The information above is from a class inside the Mastery section of the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. There, you will find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong and resilient foundation to heal your relationship with money.

You can find the Improving Your Relationship with Money healing class in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. 

You will learn about the healing method Invoke and Release® which is a powerful tool helping you release emotional trauma related to money so you can feel free to live the financially abundant life you want.

The Invoke and Release® Healing Modality helps you with money by:

• Improving your relationship with money so you worry less
• Removing money blocks to restore your financial peace and allow for more flow
• Supporting your financial health so you can provide for your needs

Joining the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle provides these financial benefits:

• Enabling you to attract more positive financial situations
• Amplify your ability to manifest financial goals and create the life you desire
• Feel more comfortable taking bold financial action, leaving toxic money patterns, and honoring your truth

If you feel called to Improving Your Relationship with Money, I encourage exploring the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. With an open mind and heart, you can access profound inner money resources to anchor and illuminate your financial journey.

Important Links:

Will Rogers

Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™

What is Invoke and Release®?

Invoke and Release® Healing Circle

Invoke and Release® website

Helpful blogs:

Why is Healing Trauma Important

The Ultimate Guide to Identifying and Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs

Exploring Your Financial Limitations

Recommended Books:

Money Magic by Deborah Price

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

Building Your Money Machine: How to Get Your Money to Work Harder for You than You Did for It! By: Mel H. Abraham 

I Will Teach You to Be Rich: No Guilt. No Excuses. No B.S. Just a 6-Week Program That Works (Second Edition) By: Ramit Sethi
The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money Is Stopping You from Receiving It By: Kyle Cease

Get Rich, Lucky Bitch!: Release Your Money Blocks and Live a First-Class Life By: Denise Duffield-Thomas