5 Unhealthy Patterns That Sabotage Your Financial Health

Have you ever felt like money was a fickle friend, always just out of reach?

Our relationship with money is, well, you know, complicated and shaped by our culture, family patterns, and inner beliefs. 

Even gender conditioning plays a part in our financial sabotage.  How many women do you know who overgive, over produce, and still get paid less than their male colleagues?  Add being black or brown, and there’s another layer of deficiency messages internalized that impact our financial health. Yup, raising my hand over here! 

Like many others,  I questioned the unconscious limits I placed on myself regarding what I deserved financially. I felt super guilty every time I raised my prices, both as a hairstylist and as a psychotherapist.  I wanted to help everyone and acted as if I was a bad person just for wanting to cover food and shelter for myself. (Which takes a lot living in California!)

But this isn’t just my story. It’s a universal struggle.

When we haven’t had a chance to process the origins of our deficiency issues, it can easily spill over to our finances, linking thoughts like, “I’m not enough,” to "there's never enough." These traumatic developmental injuries not only hurt our bank account, but suffocate our potential.

Next thing you know, we develop a variety of coping mechanisms, like financial termites, silently gnawing away at our prosperity. We end up clutching at money from a place of fear, overspending to prove our worth, or under-earn, subconsciously blocking the abundance we deserve.

Unless we heal our relationship with money, we’ll be trapped in a cycle of financial struggle.

Ready to break free? In this eye-opening blog, you'll discover:

1. How our relationship with money can be decoded
2. Your unhealthy relationship with money
3. Why we should reframe our financial vocabulary
4. The most common unhelpful patterns that are secretly sabotaging your financial life
5. Tips to discard these unhealthy money patterns

How our relationship with money can be decoded

Like mentioned above, it's easy to develop an unhealthy attitude about money. But hey, no worries, let’s expose some to empower you to break out of these habit thoughts. Without realizing it, we might:

• Resent money

Maybe you view money as evil and resent it for societal inequalities or personal struggles. This resentment can manifest as a belief that "money is dirty" or that wealthy people are inherently unethical. Think of money as neutral, like a chair or a refrigerator. 

• Spend impulsively 

Do you use shopping as an emotional crutch, buying things you don't need to self-soothe?. This "retail therapy" often leaves you feeling guilty and financially strained afterward. Imagine you bought the item and captured the emotion you’re looking for, without actually buying it. We are usually chasing a feeling. 

• Fail to budget properly

How about avoiding looking at your bank statements or creating a budget out of fear or discomfort, leading to a vague sense of financial anxiety. Think of visiting your money as a friend that you don’t want to drain with requests to cover the cost of your unnecessary whims. 

• Living in financial scarcity

You constantly feel like you don't have enough, regardless of your actual financial situation. This scarcity mindset can lead to hoarding behaviors or an inability to enjoy what you have. It may be good to create a “spending for pleasure” account if you fall into this camp.  

It may be fun to think of your relationship with money like a romantic partner.  Go ahead and read below with that in mind. It can be easier to see the dynamics with humor. These behaviors breed an adversarial relationship with money, manifesting in Your Unhealthy Relationship with Money:

• We bully money

We demand, "What have you done for me lately?" We expect instant gratification from our finances, forgetting that building wealth often requires patience and consistency.

• We become subservient, letting money rule us through endless work with no regard for our own well-being.  

We might stay in unfulfilling jobs solely for the paycheck, sacrificing our mental health and personal relationships in the process. We complain, but never change the dynamic.

• We overly serve it through relentless work without honoring our own needs. 

This workaholic tendency can lead to burnout and a sense that we're always chasing but never catching up. Your money/partner is your higher being.

• We put it on a pedestal, acting like it's our ticket to worthiness and love. 

We might believe that having more money will automatically solve all our problems or make us more lovable, neglecting other important aspects of personal growth. You know, like dating a narcissist and believing they are more important than you.

See? It's fun to read it in that way to expose the accidental toxic relationship with money that can spill over into other areas of your life, affecting your relationships, self-esteem, and overall well-being. Yeah, fun times.

Why We Should Reframe Our Financial Vocabulary

Ever noticed how the term "emergency fund" sends a shiver down your spine? It's as if we're constantly bracing for financial disaster. But what if we flipped the script?

Imagine calling it your "peace of mind pool" or "freedom fund" instead. Suddenly, it's not about fear. It's about empowerment. It's not a safety net, but a springboard for opportunities.

Think about it:

• "Emergency fund" ➡️ "Money I like having around"
• "Savings account" ➡️ "Future adventures account"
• "Budget" ➡️ "Spending plan"

It's not just semantics. These shifts can radically alter your money mindset.

5 Unhealthy Patterns in Our Relationship with Money

Back in the day when I was 20, I would put cash in my wallet and instinctively say, "Thank you, Money!" (By the way, cash is something people use to use as a way of paying for things. 😉) My friend thought it was strange to express gratitude. But even with my own money struggles, I saw money as my friend and was grateful that “money” had my back.

As in any relationship, there may be unconscious blocks or limiting beliefs getting in our way. Just as in personal relationships, our money mindsets shape our financial well-being. Here are some examples of unhelpful attitudes:

• Negative Personality Type

In a relationship, you're always looking for the bad in your partner. 

• “You did these nice things for me but you did these things wrong.” 
• “I made a lot of money this month but it's still not enough because I want to buy this.”
• “I made some money this month but I have to give it to my mother.”

Do you constantly notice what money you lack rather than appreciate what you have? 

• Entitlement

When you believe that your partner should do everything to bail you out, and you shouldn’t have to make an effort. I've noticed people talk about money in a way like:

• “It should just come to me. I deserve it anyway.”
• “I should just automatically get more without making any effort.”
• “I'm supposed to just make a vision board and all my dreams will come true.”

Do you expect money to just come to you without effort? 

• Blame 

In relationships, you blame other people for your problems. For example, blaming other people and saying:

• “My boss won't give me a raise.” 
• “My industry only makes a certain amount of money.” 
• “Being abundant is only for other people.” 
• “Someone else should save me.” 

Do you make money struggles someone else’s fault?  

• Overspending issues

When you’re unaware of how you feel, you may buy things to feel better. Causes of overspending can look like:

• Getting into a fight with your partner and wanting to feel valued. 
• Trying to buy security. “Here is a gift. Don't be mad at me. Please love me.” 
• Overspending as a dopamine hit, or as they say, “ADHD tax for having impulse control issues.  

• Ego and pride

The money you have is never enough. There's this feeling like, “I should have more.” As a result, you can accidentally feel like you're not worthy.

• “Why wasn’t I born into a rich family?”
• “I deserve to have a higher salary range!”

Do we constantly compare ourselves to others financially?

Tips to Discard These Unhealthy Money Patterns:

1. Make a list of helpful and unhelpful money beliefs 
2. Start consciously implementing helpful money concepts
3. Pick a day and live like you’re financially abundant 
4. Do it again the next day
5. Allow money to become your friend rather than an adversary
6. Clarify your financial dreams and take action accordingly
7. Decide it’s time to clear your developmental trauma that is blocking your money and abundance your priority. 

Would you like to get rid of the 5 Unhealthy Patterns That Sabotage Your Financial Health? 

The information above is from a class inside the Mastery section of the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. There you will find a step-by-step healing path to help you build a strong and resilient foundation to heal your relationship with money.

You can find the Improving Your Relationship with Money healing class in the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. 

You will learn about the healing method Invoke and Release® which is a powerful tool helping you release emotional trauma related to money so you can feel free to live the financially abundant life you want.

The Invoke and Release® Healing Modality helps you with money by:

• Improving your relationship with money so you worry less
• Removing money blocks to restore your financial peace and allow for more flow
• Supporting your financial health so you can provide for your needs

Joining the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle provides these financial benefits:

• Offers multiple classes and healing to clear unconscious money barriers.  
• A complete “Abundance Healing Lab,” which is also in the healing circle, gives you insight into how you think, what creates luck, and so much more!
• Learn how your attachment style, and other unspoken agreements may still be causing money leaks in your life.

If you feel called to Release the 5 Unhealthy Patterns That Sabotage Your Financial Health, I encourage exploring the Invoke and Release® Healing Circle. With an open mind and heart, you can access profound inner money resources to anchor and illuminate your financial journey

Important Links:

Reveal and Heal Obstacles to Your Success™

What is Invoke and Release®?

Invoke and Release® Healing Circle

Invoke and Release® website

Helpful blogs:

Why is Healing Trauma Important

Ancestral, Family, Gender and Cultural Agreements as an Obstacle to your Dreams

The Ultimate Guide to Identifying and Transforming Your Limiting Beliefs

Recommended Book:

Money Magic by Deborah Price

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life

 by Jamie Kern Lima